Okay, two things: One, through some unplanned serendipity, this blog has had more views in the last twenty four hours than it had in its entire existence. Two, I was meaning to write a new blog post on http://onepercentperspiration.wordpress.com/ today, but I decided that this would be a better platform. Because of One, basically.
The world is full of people, and people have opinions. The opinions of people differ greatly from each other, and that’s how the world works. It’s also how democracy works, although democracy doesn’t really work, and that’s why dictatorships are better. Dictatorships aren’t better, you say? Well, that’s just because you’re not the dictator. In an ideal world, everyone would do what you say, and if they didn’t, you could have them killed. Maybe now you can see the appeal.
When you create anything in a public forum, you’re open to criticism. And often the criticism is going to be from people who you don’t know, you don’t respect, and you don’t care about. You don’t really have a choice in that matter- everyone is entitled to their opinion. Unless you have Comment Approval on your WordPress blog, in which case you can suppress the opinions of people who call you ‘stupid’, or who just didn’t get what you were trying to say. I did that several times yesterday, leaving only the complimentary comments, or the ones where the reader understood what I was trying to say. It felt a little like being Stalin, or Hitler, or Ariel Sharon, which was brilliant.
I’m talking about a blog I wrote back in May of last year, which suddenly went viral yesterday, because it was reposted on the Facebook page of Being Feminist. Now, I’m definitely a feminist- who isn’t? People who hate women and hate feminists, I guess. But it’s not black and white- some people who hate feminists only hate them because they think feminists hate men. Some people hate feminists because they perceive feminists as thinking all men are misogynists. Some women hate feminists because they think it makes them look cool in the eyes of men. Like when your friend Sally played tonsil hockey with Jane at the bar that night, even though neither of them are actual lesbians.
Feminism is not some militant group obsessed with taking away the rights of men, any more than racial equality groups are trying to stamp out Whitey. It’s all in the perception, and if you perceive an egalitarian movement as some sort of supremacist mob, the fault is in your inference, not in the implication. If you start off with a prejudiced view of feminism, then of course you’re only going to take note of the fringe crazies and the agenda-chomping daddy issue lunatics. It suits your own blinkered narrative, and the confirmation bias is strong in you.
‘All movements go too far’, this is very true. And extremism is almost perversely balanced in its inappropriateness. People on the very far right have views which are ignorant and insane, but so do people on the very far left. Eventually it becomes difficult to tell them apart. Thanks to the less subtle, more heavy handed, ruder, unwilling to listen, angry, angry, angry types of feminism, we now have Men’s Rights Activists.
Now, no one thinks men shouldn’t have rights. But we sort of already have them. That’s why we didn’t need to have a sexual revolution back in the sixties. We were fine, man. MRA didn’t start with a few chaps casually inquiring about Paternity Leave. It began as a full blown fedora-clad subreddit of mouth-foaming unreasonable tit-for-tat butthurt bawling by a bunch of sub-fathers4justice who believed that Nice Guys came last, and that women were conspiring against them in order to create a world where only Bastards got sex.
Theirs is a terrifying dystopian present, where imaginary women cry on the shoulders of Amazing Kind Thoughtful Considerate men, but never offer up their vaginas as payment in kind for the counselling sessions. Where men with no offspring write tortured blog posts about the inherent anti-male sexism which is rife in the Family Law system. Where all women need to be loved and protected and saved from the stupidity of their own vaginas, which seem to keep choosing The Most Attractive Mate for sex, rather than breaking the choice down to more profound things, like Guys Who Still Hold The Door Open For You, or guys who are really good at Call of Duty.
All day and every day, these MRAs gather on the internet to lament the passing of men having rights, and to make passive-aggressive statements about how it isn’t their fault. Their universe has become a place where only the Douche can achieve sex inside a woman, no matter how much the MRAs try to explain to her that she is a stupid slut for letting him. Men and boys, raised on a diet of teen movies where the quiet sensitive geek wins the cheerleader’s heart, are angry that they haven’t received their designated hot chick. It’s not like they aren’t doing everything right- they’ve never hit a woman, for God’s sake. And yeah, they don’t go up and talk to women in bars or anything, but that’s because all women just love assholes and they’re not assholes, so they’re just saving themselves the rejection. One false move there and you’re in the friend zone, and a woman wanting to be your friend is basically like her chiselling the word ‘faggot’ on the tombstone of your virility.
If they went up to a woman and talked to her (maybe after doing a six month Pick Up Artist course with top PUAs Style and Mystery), even if they managed to trick her into thinking she wanted sex, it would only be fleeting. Sooner or later, they’d have to drop the act, and when they were no longer being Douchey Assholes, the woman would see them for the Nice Guys they are, dump them, and then go off to find an entire ice hockey team to have sex with her, because all women are basically porn whores. Porn whores who need to be saved from themselves. By men who masturbate to My Little Pony.
I know all of this, because I am also a Nice Guy of the Internet. We can smell our own.