Those people who won’t buy a digital reader; they’re always coming at you with the ‘I PREFER A REAL BOOK, YOU KNOW, THE SMELL OF IT’ thing. Who the fuck are these folk? I spend most of my time in the library, and I’ve never seen anyone open up a book and give it a good old sniff. This is clearly a new paraphilia which is taking over the literate world. Ebook makers need to jump on the bandwagon quickly, and release the Nook Papersmell, or the Kindle Bookwhiff. Then those fucking perverts can join the rest of us in the 21st Century.
I like a Conspiracy Theory video as much as the next man. Well, as long as the next man likes Conspiracy Theory videos exactly as much as I do. Otherwise it’s a terrible comparison.
This week I watched two youtube ‘documentaries’ about the Sandy Hook Massacre, and possible inconsistencies in the story. The first one gently suggested that there may have been a mild behind the scenes agreement to change official and media accounts so that it looked like an assault rifle was found on the shooter, and not (as earlier media reports had stated) left in his mother’s car outside, him having committed the atrocities with two semi-automatic pistols. Fair enough, sirs. The aim being that the lives of the children wouldn’t have been lost in vain, as the tragedy would have lead to stricter controls on AR rifles. Usual pinch of salt necessary, etc. Nothing proven, no real evidence. Interesting nonetheless. It also brought up some points which I had missed at the time, like the fact that the boy’s mother wasn’t a teacher at the school. At least not in a full time capacity. Not important in itself, just interesting that I’d come away from the story thinking that she was the teacher of some of the kids who died that day. Maybe she was? I never do the research.
The second documentary was basically two fucking hours of a photograph of grieving dad Robbie Parker’s family deconstructed, while SCARY MUSIC played in the background. They told me that the entire family had CLAWS, the baby was making a SATAN SIGN, the two little girls had NO LEGS, and that all of the bushes behind them were PHALLIC SYMBOLS. They demonstrated this by literally drawing cock and balls shapes on the bushes, with MS Paint. The mother and father in the photo were apparently THE SAME PERSON. They showed us this by digitally putting one face over the other and then writing ‘100% Match’ next to it, in red letters, also using MS Paint. All the while, the scary music played. I was fucking terrified. After about fifty five minutes, I was checking my own daughter for horns. Because they’re everywhere, don’tcha know.
This photograph wasn’t enough, of course. Some of you BLINKERED IDIOTS needed more convincing. The police on the video reports were reptilian shapeshifters; the coroner was an actor drafted in to make a statement. Everyone was an actor, in fact. The kid who did the shootings didn’t actually exist. He’d been missing since 2009. The entire Olympic opening ceremonies were a thinly veiled Satanic ritual to pave the way for Sandy Hook’s Illuminati Blood Sacrifice. OBVIOUSLY, duh. They proved this to me by showing me the bit where the Great Ormond Street Hospital was celebrated in Danny Boyle’s showpiece; the GOSH acronym clearly meaning S for Sandy and H for Hook. Mind fucking blown here. The GO probably stood for ‘Go!’ As in ‘Go take your medication, guy who made this video!’ The GOSH sequence of course had KIDS IN HOSPITAL BEDS, which was definitely a reference to Sandy Hook, which hadn’t happened yet, and was the only time ever when a child was ever in a hospital bed. And yet, sheeple ignore all this evidence.
Memorial Groups for Sandy Hook were set up DAYS before the incident, in a clear mistake by people who were otherwise efficient and methodical enough to stage an event which fooled the entire world (so that the great lord Satan could have more souls to burn in his Soul Fired Central Heating, or whatever the Devil it is he does with them). TEXTBOOK mistake, that one. How could they be so dumb? How are they ALWAYS so dumb? They go to such lengths to set up elaborate conspiracies which involve everyone from street police to the actual President, then they do silly stuff like forget to put wings on the plane which SUPPOSEDLY hit the Pentagon on 9/11; or all that stuff in the movie JFK which Oliver Stone pointed out. THEY SEEM LIKE IDIOTS, THESE PEOPLE. STUPID, INTERNATIONAL CONSPIRACY-MAKING IDIOTS. Especially if you don’t bother to Google anything, ever. But ain’t nobody got time fo’ dat. Lol.
Okay, fine; it was a general fundraising page for the school, which most schools have regardless. But there was still SOMETHING VERY FISHY about the whole thing. I know this because they played really creepy music over the top, and occasionally Photoshopped people’s faces into looking like monsters. The evidence is there, in black and white. It just takes some CRITICAL THINKING to see it, which most people in today’s sheeple society aren’t capable of.
So, in conclusion; Sandy Hook didn’t actually happen the way we thought it did. The entire thing was a mock-up by Liberals who want to take our guns, who are also worshippers of Ancient Demon Gods. Robbie Parker and his family are all the same person, natch, and that person is a DEVIL MADE OUT OF PENISES. President Obama is, like all presidents before him, a member of the Bohemian Grove Cult of Devil-worshippers, who are a mix of Republicans and Democrats, which for some reason never interferes with their plans to subjugate us and take away our freedoms. The Republicans in the Illuminati Devil Worshipping Underground Nazi Shapeshifting Lizard Brotherhood are totally down with getting rid of the right to bear arms. This is because they know that once the SHEEPLE wake up, they’ll be overthrown from their Ivory Towers and whatnot by an Army of the People, led by a group of bearded guys from Sisterfuck, Montanta, natch. Their Apache gunships and pilotless drones will be no match for your semi-automatic rifle, Bubba.
Babylon will fall.