So, the Saudis are up to their old tricks again. They’re not even old tricks. they were doing tricks like this about a fortnight ago. Well, they are old tricks actually. Tricks from the Dark Ages. Last time, it was that they wanted to kill some bank robbers by crucifixion. You didn’t misread that. Cruci-fucking-fixion. Jesus of Nazareth style. In 2013. In the end, with the world watching (well, with twitter watching), they reduced the sentences to public beheadings. I think the next step down from public beheadings is probably hanging. And one down from that is making them go to a Peter Kay gig. Cruel and unusual punishment indeed.
This week’s story is about how the Kingdom have/are going to/MIGHT sentence a 24 year old man to be paralysed from the waist down; because, when he was 14 years old, he was in an altercation where another boy/man was stabbed, and was paralysed as a result of the injury. Literally an eye for an eye. Literally. Well, figuratively anyway. Seems sort of harsh to us over here, but that’s the way shit happens there. Except obviously when a man rapes a woman. In those cases, you never hear about the rapist getting raped, in a punishment befitting his crime. No, because that would be committing gayness, and gayness is punishable by death. As is adultery, of which rape victims are automatically guilty. You can say what you like about their system; you can’t accuse it of being unfair. Unless you have a vagina.
Paralysis is not the only option, of course. If he wants to get out of the paralysing, he just has to pay the victim a million Saudi Bucks, and they’ll just call it quits and say no more. I don’t know much about prison wages in Saudi Arabia, but he should be able to raise that in a couple of weeks, if he’s prepared to give up that stash of phone cards, Kit-Kats and old Razzle mags he keeps under his bed.
Racists and Christian Americans alike have been quick to point out that the sentence is related to Sharia Law, which is definitely some sort of Muslim thing, because it sounds like it would be. Of course, the Islamic faith has its foundations in the Old Testament, the same as the Christian Right. Where do you think they both learned their enlightened views on women? American states which favour the death penalty are citing the same piece of scripture as their brown brothers. (Their brownest brother, Dr Martin Luther King Jr. was famously against the death penalty, which unfortunately didn’t deter someone from shooting him to death with an actual gun.)
The thing is, sentencing someone to be deliberately crippled has nothing to do with religion. Religion is just the tool; the ones wielding it have no interest in God or Allah (totally the same guy, by the way) or salvation or penitence. They’re just interested in being cunts, and as long as everyone around them is a cunt too, then being a cunt will never be something that isn’t okay. See also: Nazi Germany, Apartheid South Africa.
We in the civilised world (where people regularly burn their houses down and kill their children in an attempt to make monetary gains) are of course aghast at all of this. And probably agog too. How could they do this? What the hell are they thinking? Why are we just standing aside and letting it happen? These are questions being asked everywhere from filthy Student Union bars to your friend Darren’s Facebook status. Of course, the cynical among you would say ‘Because we need them for oil’. But I’m more cynical than you fuckers.
It’s not (just) about oil. They have oil everywhere. They have oil in Qatar. The have oil in Scotland. They ever have oil off the coast of Ireland. Vast, vast, still untapped reserves in Libya, Iraq and Afghanistan; three countries which are all 100% our bitches. No, it’s not just the oil thing. It’s the exports thing. We SELL stuff to other countries. Lots of stuff. And it’s not little Dinky models of London buses, or soft toys of Paddington bear. We sell weapons to them. Delicious, murdery weapons.
Dave Cameron and his pals go around the world every year, meeting crazy fucking dictators, and helping to sell them whatever guns, tanks or landmines they need to slaughter their neighbours, their own people, and (in about five years time) us. He’s probably been personally responsible for more brown people ending up paralysed than every Saudi court since the beginning of law.
To cut a long story short, this dude’s mum should start shopping for wheelchairs; we ain’t doing shit for him.