Something, something, all grown up, something something, big talents
Something, something, all grown up, something something, big talents

Remember that time when there was no internet, and stuff used to happen, and they’d talk about it on the radio? And then they’d go into the street and ask people for their ‘opinions’, and then put them on the local news? And if it was your town, you’d hear some fucking fishwife from down the road blethering on about ‘Darkies’ and ‘Immigrants’ and ‘Political correctness gone mad’, and you’d cringe and feel like moving to another town? That totally still happens. Even more now, with 24 hour rolling news. There is though, an even worse phenomenon upon us. It’s the ‘we don’t have enough words to fill the page, let’s fill it with STUFF FROM THE TWITTERVERSE’.

This is not the same thing at all, people. This is worse. The difference between Vox Pop and twitter testimonials is, you’re very aware that a vox pop is the opinion of a cunt in the street who knows nothing. Your brain has a built in filter which just goes ‘IGNORE THIS. THIS PERSON HAS THE CRITICAL THINKING CAPABILITY OF A DOG’S COCK. MOVE ON, NOTHING TO SEE HERE.’ It’s fine, it’s harmless, it’s instantly forgotten. But with views from twitter, there’s a chance that you might think the opinion of @tenderloinfan234 is one which should be taken seriously. After all, if this person wasn’t some sort of expert, why would a newspaper be quoting them? They wouldn’t just put the opinions of a normal fucktard in print, would they? They keep that sort of thing for the sports pages.

Or what about the Book of Mormon ad campaign this week? If you didn’t see it, they paid for the entire front and back page spread of the Metro newspaper, which everyone in London reads, without exception. Unless they have  Kindle. Or they’re blind. The front page was a bunch of tweets from Normal People, lamenting that The Book of Mormon was so popular, they couldn’t get tickets for it. The back page was a bunch of tweets from Smug Normal People who had been to see it, and loved it. Underneath all of that, the headline read ‘150,000 New Tickets On Sale Today!’

Now, I know the Metro is owned by the Daily Mail, who would probably normally swallow their own fucking pancreases with faux-outrage at the musical’s subjects of baby rape, blasphemy and female circumcision; ‘PLAYED FOR LAUGHS’, they’d probably add, in between telling us how nice some 16 year old girl’s knockers are, now that she’s All Grown Up. I don’t even care about that hypocrisy. What I’m angry about is that the creators of the most politically smart and subversive show of the last 20 years are assuming that their target audience looks to the denizens of twitter to tell them whether or not something is good. But I guess that’s just how things are today. I guess I really don’t know if I like a movie/show/book , until I hear what @delisandwichboyterry45 thinks about it, in 140 characters or less, plus some hashtags.

I guess I’m just old now, and not with it. Which is fine by me. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to tweet a link to this blog, and put ‘All Grown Up’ into the search bar on dailymail.co.uk



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